Isolating Before It Was Cool Bitter Friday Giftures

 

As you may not be aware of, there is this outbreak of disease going on, which means that we have to stay home as much as we can for a while. I’m not sure how all these extroverts are going to handle this, but us introverts are doing just fine. If it wasn’t for the other tinier humans in our house driving us crazy and making us do their homework, this would be an ideal situation. I’ve done isolation really well for most of my life and have been called shy, introvert, weirdo, or go-outside-and-mingle-with-someone my whole life. Now all of you naysayers telling me that I was supposed to get out and meet people were wrong. So I don’t want to tell you, “I told you so”, but I absolutely told you so. And I will continue to rub that in your face. Oh wait, I’m not supposed to touch my face or anyone else’s. So I will facetime or Skype it in your faces then. Regardless, the Bitter Friday Giftures will continue in earnest…

Looks like Tom Hanks had it right in the movie…

Fish Years GIF
…not so much in real life.

I am writing songs like this…

away GIF
…all day with my free time. What are you doing?

Turns out Dwight Shrute was right…

Toilet Paper Office GIF by Leroy Patterson
…to turn 2 ply into one ply after all.

We may not have enough toilet paper for a fort…

Donald Glover Troy Barnes GIF
…but we sure have enough pillows.

I saw a couple people outside…

the walking dead zombie GIF
…yesterday.

I went outside…

Lonely The Simpsons GIF
…and did some fun activities with all my friends.

I made sure to…

jennifer lawrence running behind the lady GIF
…100 feet from everyone like I always do.

Made sure to remain…

unproductive GIF by Product Hunt
…as productive as usual.

Made sure to be a good listener…

kim ye-rim whatever GIF
…as usual.

I made sure to stay…

not my job GIF
…nice and motivated.

Made sure to let everyone know…

not my job GIF
…how hard I would be working.

Made sure I got permission…

Ron Swanson GIF
…before I did anything. 

Made sure to help everyone…

parks and rec GIF
…with whatever they needed.

I know it seems like I’m a bit of an overachiever, but this is where I thrive. I think Dwight was right when he said that we needed more plagues, so we could get more productive like I clearly am. Make sure you wash your hands because you have to get all that productivity off your hands and make sure you stay at least 100 feet away from everyone, including your family because they might ask you do something for them. Why didn’t we all just listen to me in the beginning?

ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH

Bitter Isolation Before It was Cool Ben

2 Comments on “Isolating Before It Was Cool Bitter Friday Giftures

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