Soft Water and Sales

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What I do when I get near people.

I’ve never been a big fan of people. They are always so disappointing. In fact, they are the reason why I started blogging in the first place. Back in 2013 I was in like year 12 of working at my old company and super tired of taking phone calls. What I found out was that one phone call could ruin my day faster than Thanos could snap half the universe. I could cruise along the day and answer people’s calls to their satisfaction all day, and then that ONE LAST CALL at the end of the day would show up and a person would be yelling at me for something that someone else did and it would ruin my day. Those rude people still burn in my memories and I can’t help but be forever bitter. So I decided that I needed the kind of blog that would allow me to complain about everything that made me bitter.

For all those reasons above, no matter how much money I could make, I will never do sales. I despise being told no all the time. I know the salespeople at my company make more money than a lot of athletes, but I don’t care. I would rather be the Joker and have burn that huge pile of money than ever be a salesperson.

I need one of these door knockers.

So yesterday I was reminded why I don’t like salespeople. Tuesday is the busiest day at work and at my house. My wife was quickly telling me instructions on what she was doing, what I needed to do and getting things sorted out as she quickly headed out the door. In the chaos, the doorbell rang, and some random dude was at our door. He had a little notepad and started telling me that he was out telling people that they were doing free water testing. Normally, my radar would have been highly suspicious, but in the chaos and with the wording he used, he made it seem like it was something the HOA was doing as a service. When I asked, “Oh so this is something the HOA is doing?” he didn’t really deny it, so I figured it was just some quick thing they would do.

My wife stared a dagger at me, which I should have immediately recognized as the sign that I screwed up, but I was buying the story. Needless to say, the appointment later turned out to be an hour long pitch to sell us water softener’s, which you know, I didn’t know I needed, but was convinced by the end that I did need. Unfortunately, I don’t have $4000 to buy one, because you know, Black Friday just decimated us.

The problem is that I liked the guy that was trying to sell it to us. In some alternate universe, I think we could have been friends. But I feel like he wasted my time, I wasted his time and ultimately the transaction of time was a big waste for everyone. Sales tends to do that. People know what they need. When they need it they get it on Amazon. Sales is like this big, random, game of one side trying their hardest to get rid of the salesman, while the other side is the salesman trying their hardest to stay and ultimately sell something that a person doesn’t really need.

I’m tired of the games, salespeople.

I’m done with that game.

What are your thoughts about salespeople? The ultimate bitterness? Or are you a salesman and have to play that game everyday?

ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

Bitter SoftWater Ben

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16 Comments on “Soft Water and Sales

  1. It’s a love/hate relationship, which mostly consists of hate. That is, until you HAVE to deal with one for something you actually need. Then it is just contempt. OK, I just threw “love” in there because it looks nice. I am not nice. Why did I do that?

    Liked by 1 person

    • To be honest, the salesman totally convinced me that we need a water softener and the one he was trying to sell. Unfortunately, we don’t have the money for it so now I will live in fear of all the hard water that is infecting my house.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This post makes me so glad that the internet is slowly killing the need for actual salesmen.
    Did you ever see the Monty Python sketch where Eric Idle pretends to be a burglar so he can get into a woman’s house to try and sell her encyclopedias? It shows us that salesmen have been despised for at least 50 years.

    Like

  3. You get a free cheese-plate, when you attend one of our time-share presentation!!!!

    Everyone needs a cheese-plate. Don’t say you don’t because you do – and if you still maintain that you don’t, you should talk to you wife, or better yet, we will talk to her.

    Like

    • Oh my gosh, the time share thing sucks so bad. They always offer such great prizes, like tickets to Disney, that my wife forces us to go, even though we would not be able to afford them.

      Liked by 1 person

    • That sounds cool. So you are a Customer Acquisition Technician? That sounds really sophisticated and smart. I prefer the passive selling of advertising. Like I put on all my blog posts.

      Like

  4. My pet peeve is car salesmen. The fact that they have to work on commission is evil, and while I know they have to put bread on the table… the high pressure games, “let me get my manager” drive me to drink.

    Like

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