Month: December 2018

The Brinch Who Stole Christmas…Vacation

  He is as green as Eggs and Ham.  He is as green as the Redwood Forest.  He is as green as the Hulk and Yoda.  He’s as green as a hippy on St. Patrick’s Day.  As green as my envy when someone is…

Catch Phrases

  I’m from the 80’s where let’s just say…television wasn’t as smart or as thought out. For some reason, back in my day, television didn’t have to be as good. It might be because there were only three stations competing for my time and…

Sleighing the Game

Sleighing has always been kind of a cool novelty word. I’ll tell you more, but first a quick trip back to 2008. I was on the last wheels of a dying Dodge Neon. It was bleeding oil like a broken dam, the radiator seemed…

Countdown til…

In the northern part of the world, like where I live the months of October through March, while not technically winter, are the cold months of the year.  The days become shorter, the dark gets more persistent and we barely ever see the light…

Unlimited Gigs Bitterness

The nice thing about being lazy and watching TV a lot is that you get to observe a lot. When you do a lot of observing you start to notice trends. Trends like the Hallmark Channel rotating the same twelve actors and actresses, the…

All the Wrong Curves Bitterness

One time I took a statistics class in college and I was so bad at it that I ended up getting like a total of 10% at the end of the class. Let’s just ignore the fact that I should have dropped the class…

Ugly Sweater Bitter Friday Giftures

  There is a commercial out right now about a daughter and her parents communicating through video chat and the parents are wearing one of these awful, ugly Christmas sweaters. The daughter asks them if they are going to an ugly sweater party and…

GPS Bitterness

The other day our team was in charge of providing some training to a bunch of other professionals. We were all given assignments for the event. Part of my assignment was finding the flags that with our signage on it so we could show…

Low Battery Bitterness

I graduated college in 1998, which was this crazy, weird transitional time where the internet was so new that I needed to take a class on it just to learn how it worked. I remember a course in which a teacher had a literal…

Heavily Targeted Bitterness

I have a history of watching sports on television and being highly irritated. I have a few favorite sports teams and almost inevitably when I either watch them on TV or when I watch them in person they stink. I don’t know if I’m…

Sock Matching Bitterness

If you are anything like me, you are almost impossible to buy a cheap gift for. I only like a few things, and of those things, most of them are big expensive things. If you want to buy for me, I’m always in need…

Late Bitter Friday Giftures

  I’ve always been someone who has been on time. And when I say on time I mean early. Nobody can stand to be late more than me. Unless it is to something that is optional like a party. Then I will show up…

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