Crushed Knees Bitter Friday Giftures

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As much of a temptation as it is to want to attend your daughter’s junior high play, don’t succumb to it. Yeah, the production values are top notch, and the acting is Hollywood ready, but there is one glaring flaw in the system that not everyone talks about. The seats are made for 7th graders that haven’t quite developed what we in the industry like to call “height”. It’s fine for a play that you know, didn’t sell out, which allows you to put your knees over a chair and at least semi-comfortably relax your long legs over the seat in front of you. But in the last night of the play, where hoards of people finally decide to come, you have to sit with your knees crushed up against this super hard plastic and metal for 2 hours can break not only your knees but your spirit. There is nothing more uncomfortable than listening to a junior high kids high notes whilst navagating a way to ignore the pain of your already sore knees. My advice: have someone film the play so you can enjoy the play from your HDTV and comfortable couch. Here is some more advice: Look at these Bitter Friday Giftures from the comfort of your couch and HDTV as well.

When we say fetch…

…some people go a little overboard.

When we want out baby to spoon with us…

…this isn’t what we mean.

Remember when you dance...

…always remember to be a gashole.

When you fall…

 

…make sure to milk it for all it is worth.

No wonder…

…we like bacon so much.

Her ability to handle that fire extinguisher…

…blows me away.

Sometimes…

…geyser so stupid.

Dude, I got this…

…abort, abort…

Don’t mess with the glass…

…cause the glass always wins.

Don’t you hate…

…the railing failings?

Being on set…

…is a lot harder than it looks.

I just want to thank these guys so much…

…for coming up with the worst idea ever.

I definitely would pay a lot of money for a show that included all these people doing these things live. I would not pay good money however, if their seats were all pushed together so I had to sit uncomfortably. Just remember, for a performance, make sure the guest feels as comfortable as possible. IE make sure that everyone has a comfortable couch to sit on, or we will sit at home.

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

Bitter Performance Uncomfortability Ben

 

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12 Comments on “Crushed Knees Bitter Friday Giftures

  1. Nice .gif collection.

    The screen set double whammy is hilarious. The schlemiel knocks the schlimazal over and she immediately becomes a schlemiel herself. I’m not Jewish but I could watch that clip all day.

    Geyser guy’s face would have been steam-cleaned off were that a geyser. I think that’s seawater blasting up a lava tub and pressure-washing his sinuses.

    Like

  2. Pingback: *Press it* Crushed Knees Bitter Friday Giftures #58 | Its good to be crazy Sometimes

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