Mannequin Life Bitterness

It’s not a twomah!

The time you’ve been waiting for all year has almost arrived. It’s been building up inside you, for better or worse and there is nothing you can do to stop it. That’s right. It’s Black Friday. More people have an opinion on Black Friday than have an opinion on politics. Don’t say you don’t have an opinion on Black Friday. Whether you fight the darkness and stay home and hide from it, or you embrace the light and go for it with all your gusto, you know what it is and you feel something for it.

Last night I was watching the last Harry Potter movie, because it was good and I hadn’t seen it for a while. It brought back many emotions about how people were treated, the sides that people chose, and what it says about our society. There was a scene where Voldemort thought he had killed Harry Potter and he was basically taking charge of the place. He told people that if they didn’t join him, they would die.

Black Friday used to be that kind of decision. If you wanted to be the best gift giver, you had to get your hands a little dirty. You had to fight against all others for the ultimate prize of not much. The big hand in the sky that stopped all the madness was Amazon. They said, “Don’t go to stores. Buy things online. We will give you free shipping, and you can Black Friday in your jammies.”

The troubled life.

The big losers in this battle are the mannequins. They still have to work around the clock regardless of how many people visit the stores. I don’t know what it takes to be that flexible, but I feel for these guys. I’ve never modeled in my life, but I have to believe that I wouldn’t like it, not at all. I can’t imagine all the stares people would give me. The judging would be the worst. “That mannequin is too fat. That mannequin is too skinny. That mannequin shouldn’t be able to have an ankle that turns all the way around like that. It just isn’t natural.”

The workplace just seems like a hostile environment. Do they even get breaks? How about paid time off? Are they easily replaceable? And it feels like they don’t get any choice in how they are modeled.

What kind of food do they eat that makes them so skinny? I can’t imagine the food being delicious. And what if they don’t want to model a certain style? Do they have any say in what kind of clothes they have to wear? I think we should maybe ask them.

I especially wonder if their job is going to be replaced soon. Stores are dying. Malls are shriveling up. It seems like if it weren’t for the mall walkers, there would be no reason for them. I worry about their future.

What questions do you have for mannequins? What rights do you think they should be afforded?

ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

Bitter Mannequin Ben

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17 Comments on “Mannequin Life Bitterness

  1. I have a few questions. Not for mannequins, though, but about Black Friday.

    1) It’s the Friday before Thanksgiving, right? So how come my stupid country has this, too, yet we don’t have Thanksgiving?
    2) How come my whole nation is fighting each other (literally) over silly issues such as “white custard”, “Jew’s biscuits”, and “Black Peter”, yet we are not afraid to introduce something as racist-sounding as “Black Friday”?
    3) Why do we need a “Black Friday” anyway, if we’ve already got 3 “Black Saturdays” a year?

    It just confuses me, you know.

    Like

    • I can’t tell if you are trying to be humorous, or if you are seriously asking. Black Friday refers to retailers ending the year “in the Black,” (positive) as opposed to “in the Red” (negative). No racist implications at all. And what are Black Saturdays? I’ve never heard of those.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I know Black Friday has nothing to do with skin color. But so many other things in my country with colors in their name don’t have anything to do with racism, yet they get blown out of proportion and it bothers me. Political correctness has crossed a lot of borders here and I’m awaiting the day someone will seriously start the Black Friday discussion over here.

        Plus, we copied Black Friday from the USA but I doubt any retailer really knows why it’s called that.

        Black Saturdays are quite a happening, though, as those are the days Dutch folks massively pack up their kids and stuff and go on their Summer holiday by car. And block all highways in their wake. Or do so when they return from their holidays, also massively and usually on the same day.

        Liked by 2 people

    • Those are all great questions, which I’m obviously not qualified to answer. I can say for a fact that Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving (which is always on Thursday) and the black stands for making money (in the red means losing money). It is huge because everyone is buying for Christmas, Hannukah and all those other holidays, etc. Honestly though, I think it is just an excuse to make people spend way too much money in one day. And it worked for our family. We spent way too much.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Turns out the Dutch “Black Friday” lasts all weekend. Go figure how stupid my people are… makes me bitter.

        Like

      • I think that is fine. We break it up into Black Friday, Small Business Saturday and now we have cyber monday, which is the way that they give you all the sale items online only.

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  2. Black Friday, Small Businesss Saturday, Cyber Monday. Jesus wept….
    I’m waiting for Kale Free Tuesday or Flip Off Your Boss Thursday before I fully commit.

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  3. My dream mall store would have life-sized, realistic, holographic mannequins and womannequins. Their body types would shift every few seconds, showing off the same outfit on different bodies. Then people would start shopping in malls again, just to watch the cool mannequins. 😀

    Like

  4. I always feel a little awkward when I see people changing mannequin clothing in the display window. I think mannequins deserve more privacy!

    Like

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