Dad Humor Bitter Friday Giftures

 

Yesterday, it was around 3:15 pm at work and I was getting ready to go home, and as a marketing group, we were just joking around, and I contributed my normal terrible pun. When I did that, my boss finally stated what my role is in the group. She’s like, “It’s so nice that we have Ben here. He injects the dad humor we so desperately need.” When I was younger, I was the witty banter guy, and now I’m the dad humor. It’s amazing how I’ve devolved over the years. It was kind of a slap in the face at first, but then I took it as more of a compliment. Of course, I take most things as a compliment, regardless if they are meant that way or not. I guess when you become old, bitter and a dad, not much bother you anymore. It would be nice to have some Bitter Friday Giftures though. Oh wait, here they are right below…

I don’t know what 18 hundred o’clock is…

…but it sounds like I should be going home way before that. 

This was me last night…

…after I got a cramp in my leg.

Now for some Life Advice…

Unfortunately…

…this is terrible advice. Always give up.

Always give up…

…after your first No.

This is how you achieve your dreams…

…by sitting around and waiting for them to happen.

Always do things like dabbing…

…way after they aren’t cool anymore.

Always overspend money…

…for things that can’t even achieve their core purpose.

Always work with animals and children…

 

…because they will never overshadow you.

Always use surprise…

…as a means of giving someone a heart attack.

Make sure to always use Instagram filters…

…to give an unexpected surprise to someone you actually meet in person.

Always trust someone you’ve never met….

…to tell you that, yes, gifs are safe.

Whenever someone asks you for something…

…always let them know you got nothing.

Well, as a dad and as an old person, I am pretty sure you should know that any advice I give is absolutely 100% correct and accurate and you should follow it to the T. Also, you should laugh at these jokes because they are certified dad jokes that my kids will not laugh at, and definitely shame me for. That just makes them more dad jokes and funny for you to laugh at.

What about you all? What dad or mom jokes are you telling? Which ones are actually funny like mine? What is the most dad or mom joke you’ve ever told?

ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

Bitter Dad Joke Ben

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9 Comments on “Dad Humor Bitter Friday Giftures

  1. I usually stick to puns. It pains me when there’s a pun lying RIGHT THERE and nobody makes use of it. I always feel obliged to.

    Like

  2. Like Dad Humor is a bad thing? Everyone secretly loves Dad Humor. Dad Humor is a cozy word blanket that people like to snuggle under. Keep Dad Humoring people. Dad Humorists of the world unite!

    Like

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