The Scariness of Multi-Electronicing

Why isn’t this a day off again?

Happy Halloween, you filthy animals. I never understood why the biggest holiday in America is one that we don’t get off. From what I’ve heard, Halloween is the holiday that makes the most money, even over Christmas. If you want to me to prove it, I will say Google it and look it up yourself. I don’t have time to prove things. Why in the name of all that is good and holy do we not get Halloween off? I have a rant prepared for this, but I’ll save that one for another day. Just make it a holiday.

Speaking of Halloween, the theme of this major holiday is scariness and being uneasy. If you don’t believe me, you should see how uneasy I am in my Halloween costume. Since we are talking about scary stories, here is one I deal with every day.

The terror.

Batteries.

I don’t know if you guys are like me when you sit down every day to watch TV. I don’t just watch TV anymore. I always have to have something electronic in my hands. I don’t care if that is childish, but I always have to be multi-electronicing. The problem with multi-electonicing is the age-old problem of batteries. My phone is getting older, and the battery life is pathetic. Charging stations are the most important thing in the world right now.

Because battery life is so pathetic, I have a rotation of things that I need to switch to. My chain of command works like this. First, my phone. It is the first one that I pull out to distract me from everything else. It has the most important games, it fits in the pocket the easiest, and has the texts that are the most urgent. Some people say it is essential because it has the phone app, but I deleted that thing. No one needs to be taking phone calls on a phone. When my phone gets to ***gasp*** 10%, I have to bring it to the charging hospital and get it revived before it dies of loss of battery.

I might die without my life-giving electronics.

Then I move to the next thing on the list, my laptop. It is the equivalent of an old man at 5 years old and lacks the battery power to process anything for more than an hour. But at least it can distract me long enough for my phone to charge….sometimes.

If I get really desperate, and the phone and the laptop are both in critical condition, I resort to option #3. It is scary to have to resort to the last option, but sometimes I have to do it. If I don’t, I will be left without an electronic device. I might as well be stuck in a scary barn at midnight with a chainsaw-wielding psychopath trapping me in a corner if I don’t have an electronic device in my hand. The last option is the tablet. It is so basic, that it only has two, maybe three apps I can check. If I ever get to option 3 and there is no battery life, you will probably see me curled up on the couch dead of accidental electronic withdrawals. Let’s hope I never run out of all three options. Now that is scary.

How about you guys? Can you survive without an electronic device in your hands? Do you have your chain of command?

ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

Bitter Scary Story of No Electronics Ben

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27 Comments on “The Scariness of Multi-Electronicing

  1. I have too many electronic devices. I pick up the remote to change channels, and it’s actually the phone. And I accidentally call my mother. So then I try to hang up on her as quickly as possible, but now I have the remote in my hand for the adjustable bed, and I wind up raising my head and lowering my feet. Meanwhile my mother is saying, “Hello? Hello?” So I try again to hang up on her and end up shutting off the TV. I think all electronic devices should be color-coded to end this confusion. It’s a real pain.

    Like

  2. I tend to break out in hives if my phone is dead or unreachable. What if someone texts me? Or posts a sloth video? Or I need to look up the ingredients for apple pan dowdy? Oh… the horror! How I ever lived without the thing is a mystery I still cant solve.

    Like

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