Office Auction

Me either, Michael.

I’ve written pretty extensively about the Office. If you weren’t any the wiser you might have thought that I was repping for The Office. You know like paid a lot of money to write about a show that has been off the air since 2013. I have pretty much watched it non stop since it went off the air, thanks to Netflix and even made it a regular Friday thing at work. I love it so much that I’ve applied to work at a mid-sized paper company. I look at everyone in my office and try to figure out which character they are.

I even predicted the Office on Broadway almost a year before they actually made that happen. Recently I found out that there is an auction for The Office furniture. A lot of things up for auction, you wouldn’t pay more than a dollar for in real life, but since they appeared on the show, most things sold for more than $500 and some up to $2000.

Some of the items up for auction included Pam’s mouse pad ($950), Dwight’s Jewelry Box with key ($1000), Creed’s Computer Monitor ($325), Micheal’s Paper Tray ($1200) and Jim’s Phone ($4500). Imagine if they would have been able to sell this stuff when they were on the show. They never would have had to worry about downsizing, the fun run that spawned this answering of the phone by Pam for the fun run, “Michael Scott’s Dunder-Mifflin, Scranton, Meredith Palmer memorial, celebrity rabies awareness, fun run race for the cure, this is Pam.”

They wouldn’t have had to have the auction where Michael had the Bruce Springsteen concert tickets. They wouldn’t have had to drive to New York to beg David Wallace to shut down the branch.

But thank goodness they didn’t have the money at the time.

Me too, Stanley.

If they didn’t the Office wouldn’t have had all those classic episodes. The ones where Michael was desperate to save the company so he did amazingly rash things. The ones where Dwight got all power hungry and did whatever it took to become the Regional Manager.

You see a lot of people dream about having a lot of money and that it will solve all their problems. I think quite the opposite. How would I have this super successful bitter blog, if I had all this money? I would be complaining about stupid, unrelatable stuff like why my second vacation to Hawaii this week was canceled. Or why my butler hadn’t fixed the toilet in my 14th bathroom. A few of you ultra rich individuals could relate, but not many.

And hey, Paul Allen died this week. A co-founder of Microsoft, a multi-billionaire and has the same dang fate we all do, which is, no matter how much money you have, you can’t take it with you. And it can’t save you from dying.

So I’ll continue to be a poor sap, writing about my bitter life of wishing I could afford Dwight’s stapler, but knowing that if I bought it, it would staple just the same as the $20 one I got for work.

Dwight’s stapler for auction.

What do you all think? How did this super random post about The Office Auction devolve into a discussion about money and death? How do my posts start one way and end so differently? What are your feelings about too much money? How would money corrupt/make you better?


Bitter The Office Auction Ben

6 Comments on “Office Auction

  1. My wife and I recently finished watching every episode of The Office. What a funny show.

    The one nice thing about money is, you don’t have to spend it on expensive things. Instead you can just quit your job, live modestly, and lounge around all day. Money spent on lounging is the best way to spend money, in my view.


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