Zombees

 

…are the worst.

I’m fighting the bitter fight right now. Ever since we moved into our new home, we’ve had some squatters. I would be fine with them if they would just pay rent, but I’m getting a little tired of evicting these guys. The crazy thing is that there are like literally billions of places they could live, but they somehow keep coming back. It’s clearly not my hospitality or my charming personality. In fact, I’ve been nothing but unaccommodating.

The bees just keep coming back over and over. I’m not talking those valuable ones that give us honey or pollinate the flowers or star in the Bee Movie. I’m talking the yellow jackets that have been stinging me or terrorizing me for decades. I’ve sprayed them at least a dozen times this summer and seemingly killed their hive over and over again, but someone keeps surviving and then bringing their new brothers back.

I’m not much of a horror fan. It’s not that I am scared of them, though I would say I would be a little, I just find horror movies kind of pointless and dull. I want to see people punching each other and using cool ninja skills or superpowers. Plus I’m really claustrophobic, and most of those horror movies play off of that fear quite a bit. They are always trapping someone in a closet or locking someone in a room.

Zombies are a big thing for people now too. I’ve heard that the Walking Dead is a good series, but I’m not really into Zombies that much. You know what would be the worst though? Zombie Bees. Or Zombees. The only reason I tolerate bees right now is that I can use that spray on them and that kills them instantly. But if they were basically unkillable as Zombees, and retain their powers of being able to sting me, they would pretty much be the most terrifying thing on earth.

Imagine spraying those things and then seeing them get angry at you for doing so, and not dying. Then they come after you with a vengeance. I already run in fear when I miss one of them, and they see that I was the one that killed all their brothers. Now imagine that they all saw that I was the one messing with their hive. I love my new house, but if there were Zombees attached to it, time to burn it down and claim the insurance and move to another country.

Only way to get rid of the bees.

 

The insurance company couldn’t claim arson either, because there was a purpose for burning down the house.

Your turn, what creature great or small is squatting in your house without paying? What creature is hanging out in your house that would be even more terrifying as a zombie?

ARRRRRGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Zombee Ben

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11 Comments on “Zombees

  1. Termites. We recently had to tent fumigate our house to rid ourselves from them. On the other hand, they could be a good thing. If termites were to completely devour your house you wouldn’t have to worry about zombees anymore.

    Like

  2. I have a rule with all insects, I stay inside, they stay outside. All rule breakers are subject to extermination with extreme prejudice. For every one I have to kill inside, I kill one outside as well and leave their smooshed corpses as a warning to others.

    Like

    • Pretty much. I do my best to go from my house to car to work to car to home to practice. I don’t interrupt their outdoors, how could keep messing up my house?

      Liked by 1 person

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