Snap of Fingers

Spoiler Warning: If you haven’t seen Avenger: Infinity War or don’t like lazy or bitter people, be warned, there are spoilers contained below. Also, really bad writing and spelling errors.

I’ve talked about it before, but I think I relate more with villains in most movies. I’m not a genius like most of them, but I am lazy. Most villains just want to be lazy. That is why most of them are inventors. They work really hard, so they can go home and have things done for them. If I had the capacity to invent things, almost all of the inventions would go toward inventing things that made my life easier. Clean the dishes for me. Open doors for me. Do all my chores at home. Automate my life. Look at Hans from Die Hard. All he wanted to do was sit on a beach collecting 20%.

Unfortunately, the heroes are getting in the way. There is a reason why they are called action heroes. They are always stopping things, preventing this, doing actions. Most of them are in to working out, strengthing their muscles and fighting. In the process, they are destroying things just like the villains. They aren’t stopping us doing bad things. They are just stopping us from being lazy.

In Avengers, they spent the whole time trying to stop Thanos from destroying half the Universe. All Thanos was doing was trying to get some really nice jewelry, six shiny stones to be exact, so he could give his wife or girlfriend a present for her birthday or anniversary. He, like me, was probably a historically bad gift giver, and had failed her over and over again. He was probably really tired of the disappointed look on his girls face everytime he presented her with the Infinity Toaster, or the Gauntlet of Roses that go went bad after a month.

So he spent the better part of a movie fighting gallantly for the 6 Infinity Stones she had seen on the QVC or HSN planet and had hinted heavily that she wanted. Who knew the jewelry would be so popular with other superheroes? He must have felt like he was at a Black Friday sale. Except a lot less hectic.

The one problem was that when he finally got the 6th stone he was so excited that he accidentally snapped his fingers out of pure jubilation. I’m sure that when he finally sat down to rest, (like he had mentioned he wanted to do most of the movie), everyone was turning to dust. Why was everyone trying to steal his glove? It was for his girl, not theirs.

Why is everyone trying to take my glove?

I feel just like Thanos. You just work really hard so you can just go home and rest for a while. But I bet when he got home from work, his wife had a list of chores for him and all his kids wanted him to play baseball with him and all he wanted to was rest his weary back and lay on the couch.

What about you? Do you work really hard, so you can rest?

ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Snap Finger Ben

 

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8 Comments on “Snap of Fingers

  1. Rest? What’s rest? Is that the part where I get home from work, then go work out at the gym, or cook dinner for the family, or write, or get prepared to do it all again the next day? What is this “rest” of which you speak? Also, I meant to be lazy and “like” this post instead of putting effort into writing a comment, but there’s no “like” button anywhere. Not sure I like that. 🤔

    Like

  2. I worked really hard so that I could retire and rest. But now that I’m retired I have to work really hard to complete my chores, so that I can rest. I hope one day to retire from chores.

    Like

  3. Damn, I guess I have been doing it wrong all this time! I’ve been working hard at looking like I’m working hard. Maybe I am already lazy and didn’t know it.

    Like

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